Q: How many baritones does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six--one to change it and five to keep the tenor from hogging the light.

Q: What did the tenor get on his IQ test?
A: Drool.

Q: Why do some people take an instant dislike to tenors?
A: It saves time in the long run.

Q: What's the difference between a tenor and a chainsaw?
A: You can turn the chainsaw off.

Q: What's the difference between a tenor and a South American macaw?
A: One is loud and obnoxious and the other one is a bird.

Q: The baritone came home unexpectedly one day to find his wife in a compromising situation on the couch with a tenor. The enraged baritone said, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?"
A: The tenor answered: "Well, I'm singing Rodolfo in Portland next week and then my first Hoffman in San Diego after that......"

Q: And then there was the director who said,
A: "If you want a tenor to look like he is thinking, make him walk down stairs..."

Q: How do you know the fax you just got was from a tenor?
A: It has a stamp on it.

Q: How do you know a tenor has been using the computer?
A: There's whiteout on the screen.

Q: How many tenors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one....he holds the light bulb up there & waits for the world to revolve around him.

OUCH - Enough Tenor Abuse!

Q: Why did the soprano cross the road?
A: That's where the mirror was.

Q: How many critics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Four...One to remove the old bulb, lamenting that things will never be lit as well again. One to screw in the new bulb, proclaiming it a genius in the world of new bulbs. One to note shortly thereafter that the bulb is not burning *quite* as brightly today as it did yesterday. One to call for new bulbs to be installed immediately if art is to be saved.

Q: Who was Caruso?
A: A shipwrecked mariner.