Q: What is the difference between an orchestra and a train?
A: The train needs a conductor.

Q: Why was the tenor buried twenty feet beneath the earth?
A: Because DEEP DOWN he's a nice guy.

Q: What do you need when you have a baritone up to his neck in quicksand?
A: More quicksand.

Q: What is the difference between a soprano and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Q: What does it mean when a tenor drools out of both sides of his mouth?
A: The stage is level.

Q: How do you fix a broken tuba?
A: With a tuba glue.

Q: What is the difference between a tenor and a drink machine?
A: The drink machine will probably give you a Hi-C.

Q: Why did Mozart kill his chickens?
A: Because they were always going "Bach!" "Bach!" "Bach!"

Q: What is the difference between a soprano and a puppy?
A: Eventually the puppy will stop whining.

Q: How do you save a tenor from drowning?
A: Take your foot off of his head.

Q: How many basses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None - leave it out, no one will notice.

Q: What does a woman in labor & a tenor have in common?
A: Both have to strain.

Q: How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None - he thinks it's the accompanist's job.