Q: What do you call three picadores & Escamillo in quicksand?
A: Quatro sinko.

Q: Which coffee was never served on the Nina, Pinta, or Santa Maria?
A: Sanka.

Q: What class of people became the newest patrons to the arts [in the Classical era]?
A: The common wealth.

Q: What does Die Forelle mean?
A: Die for her.

Q: What was Beethoven's great physical affliction?
A: Death.

Q: Why don't baritones play "hide & seek"?
A: Because no one will go & look for them.

Q: Why do tenors smile when they sing?
A: Because ignorance is bliss & what they don't know can't hurt them.

Q: What's the difference between a soprano & a barracuda?
A: Lipstick.

Q: How many mezzos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None - they can't get that high.

Q: How many basses does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None - They're so macho they prefer to walk in the dark and bang their shins.

Q: A conductor and a tenor are standing in the middle of the road. Which one do you run over first, and why?
A: The conductor. Business before pleasure.

Q: What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A: A flat major.

Q: How many producers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: ...hmm...I don't know...what do you think?.