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Definitions of opera/music terms that you will not find in any dictionary: (we hope!)12-tone scale: The thing that the State Police weigh your tractor-trailer truck on.A 440: The highway that runs around Nashville. Accidentals: Wrong notes. Aeolian Mode: How you like Mama's cherry pie. Agnus Dei: Famous female writer of church songs. Allegro: Leg fertilizer (or) sinus medication. Attaca: "Fire at will!" Bach Chorale: The place behind the barn where you keep the horses. Bar Lines: Gathering of people, several of which will probably be musicians. Baritone: What you can hardly do when a tone is bad. Bass: The things you run around & tag in a baseball game. Bassoon: Typical response when asked what fish you hope to catch, & when. Bossa Nova: The car your supervisor drives. Cadenza: The thing covered with pet hair that gets vacuumed before company comes. Cello: The fourth food group. Cello: Proper way to answer the telephone. Clarinet: The name given to your second daughter if you already used Betty Jo. Clausula: Mrs. Santa Claus. Clef: What you try never to fall off of. Clef, Bass: Where you land if you do fall off. Compound Meter: car parking spot requiring two dimes Conductor: The man who punches your train ticket. Counter Tenor: A singer who adds well. Counter Tenor: A singing waiter. Cut Time: Parole. Di Lasso: Italian cowboy rope. Discord: Not to be confused with Datcord. Diminished Fifth: An empty bottle of whiskey. Estampie: What they put on letters in Quebec. Fermata: Type of girdle worn by female opera singers. First Inversion: Grandpa's battle group at Normandy. French Horn: Women say that men smell like a cheap one when they come home at 4AM. Gotterdamrung: Exclamation made when missing a step on a ladder. Harmony: A white or yellow corn-like food Major Scale: A long climb up the side of a mountain. Middle C: The only fruit drink you can afford when money is short. Notes: Small folded pieces of paper passed in class by students. Perfect Fifth: A full bottle of whiskey. Perfect Pitch: The smooth coating on a freshly paved road. {Not to be confused with every batter's dream in a baseball game} Pizzicato: Small Italian pie with cheese, anchovies, etc. Poco Piu Animato: A little skunk. Portamento: Wine with a hint of mint. Power Chord: It plugs into the wall. Quarter Tone: What most standard pick-up trucks can haul. Quartet: A little less than a quart. Quintet: The runt of a litter of five. Relative Major: An uncle in the Marine Corps. Repeat: What you do until they expel you. Rubato: What you do when your toe itches. Tempo: A good choice for a used car. Tempo: Location of headache. Time Signature: What you need from your boss when you forget to clock-in. Treble: Women ain't nothing but... Whole Note: What is due after failing to pay the mortgage for a year.
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Written by: LeAnna White Date Modified: September 08, 1999 URL: http://www.jcarreras.com/fun/jokes002.htm Copyright © 1999 JCarreras.com |
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