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Music Terminologies (Part 3)
 

More... Musical Definitions (Don't blame Mr. Webster!)

Accent: - An unusual manner of pronunciation, eg: "Y'all sang that real good!"
Accidentals: - Wrong notes.
Agitato - A string player's state of mind when a peg slips in the middle of a piece.
Altered Chord - A sonority that has been spayed.
Cadence -
  1. The short nickname of a rock group whose full name is Cadence Clearwater Revival.
  2. When everybody hopes you're going to stop, but you don't. (Final Cadence: when they FORCE you to stop.) .
Cantus Firmus - The part you get when you can only play four notes.
Chord - Usually spelled with an "s" on the end, means a particular type of pants, eg: "Hewears chords."
Clef -
  1. If a student cannot sing, he may have an affliction of the palate, called a clef.
  2. Something to jump from if you can't sing and you have to teach elementary school.
Coloratura Soprano - A singer who has great trouble finding the proper note, but who has a wild time hunting for it.
Compound Meter - A place to park your car that requires two dimes.
Duple Meter - May take any even number of coins.
Triple Meter - Only rich people should park by these.
Meter Signature - The name of the maid who writes you a ticket when you put an odd number of coins in a duple meter. .
Conduct - The type of air vents in a prison, especially designed to prevent escape. Could also be installed for effective use in a practice room.
Countertenor - A singing waiter.
Crescendo - A reminder to the performer that he has been playing too loudly.
Cut Time - When you're going twice as fast as everyone else in the orchestra.
Duration - Can be used to describe how long a music teacher can exercise self-control.
Flat - This is what happens to a beer if it sits too long in the open air.
Flute - A sophisticated pea shooter with a range of up to 500 yards, blown transversely to confuse the enemy.
Tempo - This is where a headache begins.
Triplet - One of three children, born to one mother very closely in time. If a composer uses a lot of triplets he has probably been taking a fertility drug..
Tempo - This is where a headache begins.

...There were two people walking down the street. One was a musician. The other didn't have any money either...

 

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Date Modified: January 01, 2000
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