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Big Band - When the bar pays enough to bring two banjo players. Chansons de Geste - Dirty songs. Cymbal - What they use on deer-crossing signs so you know what to sight-in your pistol with. Concert - A place where people go to cough and sneeze. Dominant - An adjective used to describe the voice of a child who sings off key. Ducita - A lot of mallards. Duration - Can be used to describe how long a music teacher can exercise self-control. Embouchure - The way you look when you've been playing the Krummhorn. Espressivo - Close eyes and play with a wide vibrato. Flute - A sophisticated pea shooter with a range of up to 500 yards, blown transversely to confuse the enemy. Isorhythmic Motet - When half of the ensemble got a different edition from the other half. Musica Ficta - When you lose your place and have to bluff until you find it again. Optimist - A trumpet player who carries a beeper. Parallel Minor - A music student who is as tall as his instructor. Perfect Pitch - Throwing a piccolo in the toilet without hitting the rim. Phrase - What teaching music does to your nerves. Pianissimo - "Refill this beer bottle". Piano Subito - Indicates an opportunity for some obscure orchestra player to become a soloist. Rackett - Capped reeds class. Resolution - An oath frequently made by music teachers, eg: "I'll never use that song again!" Rhythm - A term found frequently in religious songs, eg: "He is rhythm from the dead!" Risoluto - Indicates to orchestras that they are to stubbornly maintain the correct tempo no matter what the conductor tries to do. Sensible - This term is occasionally seen in Italian opera scores, but it obviously is a misnomer. Senza Sordino - A term used to remind the player that he forgot to put his mute on a few measures back. Sequence - Small, faceted ornaments sewn to a performer's costume which sparkle in the lights. Sharp - An adjective used to describe another musician whose opinions are in harmony with your own. Subdominant - Chief officer aboard a submarine. Syncopation - A condition brought on by lack of roughage in one's diet. Tonic - Medicinal liquid to be consumed before, during, or after a performance. Transposition - Men who wear dresses.
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Written by: LeAnna White Date Modified: September 19, 2000 URL: http://www.jcarreras.com/fun/jokes002d.htm Copyright © 1999-2000 JCarreras.com |
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