"Favorite Classical Music Bloopers": (From actual student papers!)

Concert reviews: "The conductor stood front-center of the singers and alternated between a man and a woman."

Rehearsal papers: "Altos and sopranos were divided by the men, whose various parts were sort of sectioned off within that section. "

Interview papers: "The Cantor loves to teach and help others learn and sing, as I can protest to from my years as his student."

Tests: Define "castrato":

1. A castrato is a man who has been castrated before singing in a opera or concert.
2. The point where the music cuts off or stops before continuing on.

TV/Video reviews: "In August of 1955 he wrote "Westside Story," which is an updated version of Romeo and Juliet. The opposing forces were two teenage gangs, one gang comprised of Jews and the other Catholics. "

• "It is important to be able to listen to the music, but the works have been written to provoke thought too, and we should forget this."
• "This article seemed helpful to me because it explained music and where music comes from through the eyes of a composer."
• "Opera singers are often called prima donnas because they give their best when they are in their prime. Then often grow fat later."
• "Offenback wrote 'Tales of Halfmen'".
• "In the last scene of Pagliacci, Canio stabs Neda, who is the one he really loves. Pretty soon, Silvio gets stabbed also, & they all live happily ever after."
• "Caruso was the first Italian. Then someone heard his voice & said he would go a long way. and so he came to America."
• "Stradivarius sold his violins on the open market with no strings attached."
• "The principle singer of 19th-century opera was pre-Madonna."
• "At one time singers had to use musicians to accompany them. Since synthesizers came along, singers can now play with themselves."
• "Diatonic is a low-calorie Schweppes."
• "A harp is a nude piano."
• "An oboe is an American tramp." (From a British student)
• "Aaron Copland is one of our most famous contemporary composers. It is unusual to be contemporary. Most composers do not live until they are dead."
• "Bach was the most famous composer in the world, & so was Handel."